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....(not quite)BREAKING NEWS on the CONVERGENCES NEWS TICKER.....a new, even younger work experience kid came in to work a couple of weeks ago; he HAD seen Pulp Fiction...(not quite) BREAKING NEWS on the CONVERGENCES NEWS TICKER....


Convergence alert! Tiffany talks about the funtime pic Kindergarten Kop and the very same day I found myself accidentally/deliberately tuning into another Arnie Schwaz 80s 'dramady'....Spooky!
In its genre's prime Saturday mid-afternoon slot, the film I'm talking about is Twins(!)

And oh, what a terrible film. I remember watching it when I was much much younger, remembering that I quite enjoyed it- specifically the scenes where he picks up the car to turn off the alarm scene and the 'ahh, they both have twin babies at the end!' bit. I remember quite enjoying these bits:
1. because I liked the sentimental drug overdose climax of the twins having twin babies and
2. because as a young lad, watching Arns lift that car up off the ground, I thought it's only a matter of time before I became a man like that and have to do the very same thing, all the time- as if it were a chore I imagined grown-up men were always having to do for women; grudgingly doing it, but secretly enjoying the chivalry. Lifting a car off the ground to turn off the alarm: surely it's just like opening jam jars, my young mind equated.
So, I watched Twins again but even those bits were quite bad to watch. Even the look of the film was an assault: everything seemed to be in soft-focus and looked akward in a not-quite-eightes, not-quite-nineties way: everything was either peach or beige coloured.

For the purposes of this blog, I I took notes during the film. Here they are:
-they're twins?!
-smoking in the supermarket
I was amazed during that scene- the two lead women were smoking-in a supermarket. It was supremely incongruous- like the stature difference between the film's two movie star actors. I was half expecting the big baby payoff at the end of the film to now feature the wee bairns smoking down on some Woodbines. If that were to happen today it would make the news(supermarket smoking, not babies smoking- that would be a You Tube smash)

I feel asleep during the film. While sleeping on the sofa, my mind drifted to "Twins'" sister 80s (slash 90s!) funtime picture sisters- like the alluring sisters that feature in The Virgin Suicides. Pour example:
The Flight of The Navigator,
Three Men and a Baby/Little Lady,
Innerspace,
Big,
Crocodile Dundee,
Back To The Futures 2 and 3,
Working Girl,
Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead,
Bill and Ted,
Weird Science,
Big,
Universal Soldier,
California Man,
Beethoven,
The 'burbs,
The Secret of My Success,
Taking Care of Business,
Romancing The Stone,
Short Circuit...
.. you know the films I mean. I thought about them, and picking up on Scriff's point, why aren't Hollywood making this type of film anymore? Films like Turner and Hooch weren't really blockbusters and they won't win any Oscars (although Hooch's saliva-based tomdroolery was at times memorably side-splitting grusome), but they were decent, alright films. Had I paid to see them in the cinema, I wouldn't have really felt like I'd been robbed, say: they weren't bad, they weren't great, they were just "nice" movies. Lamenting the past in a misanthropic way, it seems to me that films today don't aim for the middle ground like The Money Pit did. Making comparisons, does 'Stepbrother' look like the kind of film I'm talking about? Films coming out today are films that are either The Most Amazing Film To Be Released This Year! or they are just terrible terribel! movies. Supreme case in point: The Pacifier (obviously in the The Most Amazing Film To Be Released This Year! category). If I turn on the TV in 2028 at 3.30pm, will 'What Happens In Vegas' be on? Will I want to watch it, like I would Innerspace (hooradio! Innerspace is such a good movie, a fact Tiff and I have already converged) today? Probably not- around 2028 is when you'll find me lurking around inner-city car parks, hoping to lift up women's cars should their alarms go off. If I start with the stair-master now, I should have the muscle power in about 12 years. Either that, or I'll be popping out my first sprog like Arnie does in Twins' afterbirth of a movie, Junior